And it's realistic to know that in today's world, especially in these uncertain times, there is a lot of stress.

The holidays bring up different feelings for everyone. Having everyone together - grandparents, parents, kids, grandkids, step-families, can be quite stressful. Emotions tend to spike, there's not a lot of privacy, schedules are thrown off, and so on.

Larry, a client of mine, was telling me that whatever he and his wife envision for the holidays always turns out differently than they expected.  According to Larry, "my son and I end up arguing about old issues. Now with the tight economy, I'm worried about everybody's patience running thin and voices getting raised."  He added, "My wife said she's concerned about the loss of privacy we'll have with everyone in one house."

Another client, Laura, is a step-mom and uneasy about everyone getting along.

"We all start out okay, but as time passes and we're together longer, things begin to dissipate" she said. 

Laura's not sure how to shift things from negative to positive because things deteriorate rapidly and head into a downward spiral.

After listening to the concerns of clients and friends, here are some things you can do to make it a calmer, happier holiday season.

* notice and acknowledge that holidays can be a stressful time

* use some tools to help you cope: positive self talk strategies, breathing exercises,  physical exercise, journaling

* have realistic expectations

* be flexible

* stay away from topics you know will raise tension (and your blood pressure)

* decrease your sugar intake

* be aware you have choices (instead of stuffing yourself with a big holiday meal, have everything you like but smaller portions)

* make a conscious choice for calm instead of chaos

* laugh more

* don't spend 24/7 with each other...take some "self" time, like taking a walk

* stay in a hotel if financially possible

Create your own "Hallmark" movie this year.  Remember, this is an opportunity to share ourselves with one another. Count your blessings and focus on what you have!

From me to you, Happy Holidays and New Year!!

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  Certified Business and Life Coach Susan Samakow is the principal of Susan Samakow Coaching, LLC.  She works with individuals and businesses on life and career transitions, focusing on retirement.  Susan coaches individuals, couples, and groups, as well as conducting workshops, retreats, and seminars. For questions, contact Susan at susan@selftalkcoach.net or 301-706-7226 and 703-472-7690.